A Complete History of My Sexual Failures

A Complete History Of My Sexual FailuresChris Waitt, the star and maker of the documentary, appears to be in his mid 30s and he has had his fair share of girlfriends — all of whom have dumped him. He decides to find out why and he attempts to interview each of his exs to see why he can’t find a relationship that lasts. If you can imagine knocking on the door of someone who has dumped you and shoving a boom mike and a camera in their face, then you can get a sense of how funny this is.

Indeed, in the first half hour, when he first sets out of his quest, there are some great belly laughs. For instance, when his agent/financial backer gives him an angry phone call after his wasted trip to Scotland or when he finally manages to interview his first old girlfriend and she reveals when their relationship took place or when the most angry of all his exs (who will only speak to him behind and screen and via a Stephen Hawkins computer) takes an age to type our her answer to his question “What didn’t you like about me?”

The pace of the film wanes in the second half and there is a fairly pointless visit to a dominatrix and an experiment with Viagra, but Waitt himself freely admits this. And you also wonder to yourself as you watch Waitt on dates “Is this guy for real or is he playing up on his slacker image to make his film more funny.” You also hope this isn’t the case in the films surprise ending, which has called a little bit of a stir. It is a very sweet ending … and, in a way, it is life-affirming. You never know what could happen when, in a booze/Viagra induced daze, you approach 300 strangers in the street and beg them for sex!

This documentary is available for preview only.
Please buy the DVD at Amazon.com, Amazon.ca or Amazon.co.uk.

Ratings: 6.13/10 from 8 users.

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99 Comments / User Reviews

  1. dumphead

    Chris....u won`t believe it but this was nearly one of the best documentaries i`ve ever seen!!!
    Although i hope u`ll never make one again...

    U`re telling just (and just) the truth man!!!

  2. Willy

    Thank you. Your film is absolutely brilliant. Hilarious, poignant, and redeeming in its ending. Well done!

  3. dbjohn


  4. fahim

    it was good........but there was one problem..all of your girlfriends looked quite older than you....good job in the end....

  5. Graham

    Interesting... was this all real? I know for a fact you can't have an erection for longer than 6 hours without causing permanent damage to your penis.... I'm surprised his doctor didn't reccommend him to go to the hospital. Everything seems to end all happily and just too cleanly. And his general mopiness. If it was in fact real then good on him.. if not I guess at least it was a little funny.

  6. romania

    yes...i don't know how much real it is...and there were surley some regizated scenes. Anyway...this chris waitt seamed to me a little idiot,stupid; i don't know if this it is determined by his IQ level or he tried to have something of Owen Wilson. And for 'Dumphead' come on... the best documentary you had ever seen?? I would say that i've seen worse ones.

  7. romania

    and sorry i forget...the song was good ;)

  8. Charles B.

    If my daughter wanted to date you, I'd write the "Dear Chris" . . . ur I mean the "dear John" letter myself!

  9. Talya

    An unequivocally phenomenal story. I could never be with someone like Chris, for probably the same reasons as all of his exes, but I'm so glad that he finally found love - and with a very wonderful woman, it seems. I could also never expose myself so fully as Chris did, but in doing so, he made a film that is so much more real and genuine than anything I believe I've ever seen. He is better for making this, and I am better for seeing it.

  10. Futureman!

    ooohhh!!! Cindy was crying!

  11. skydome

    great idea and good fun watching!
    I`m living next to Vicky in Edinburgh :)

    "romania" find a more interesting name, you don`t really represent a country

  12. anastasia

    an odd documentary! awesome idea btw! kudos!
    hee. funny. how come he had so many gfs in his life? :]
    i like the nest on his head.
    is worthy to wtch to have fun.

  13. Larry

    There you go people. The secret to dating.
    - Be yourself, Meet as many people as possible, try to date the ones you like and Don't give up. Learning from your mistakes is the key though.

    This is One of the funniest docs I've seen yet.
    Laughed my ass off every second of it.
    I'm going to buy this film somehow.

  14. Hui-Ying

    I was going on personal recommendation to watch this documentary, at first finding it quite wacky to see someone filming this as a way of discovering his own flaws through past failures.

    It turns out that we all get devastated some point in our lives, getting affected by all the past antecedents that will later contribute to where we are now. Without studying our past, realizing our core beliefs and automatic thoughts, it's hard for us to figure out what we really are.

    The movie might see ordinary and reflect on all of us. Yet, it teaches us to learn from our mistakes, love yourself before expecting others to appreciate you. Eventually, we'll meet that special someone just around the corner:) sooner or later, you just never know.

  15. leverhundar

    I liked it.

  16. Jason

    wow, not the doc to watch when you happen to be single and down a bit. Seemed genuine and good though.

  17. Riglats

    Not sure how genuine this film really is.
    One can see the film cuts each time he took a viagra.If he really had a problem he would of called a prostitute or go to an emergency room.
    Anyway most important,the film was educational and entertaining in spite of my doubts about its authenticity.

  18. Esbanan

    Hey Chris, i find myself in the exact same situation, and seeing how alike our lifes are, this gave me new hope that some day i will meet someone, great documentory mate

  19. carpenter

    I can't believe this idiot actually had many ex gfs, unless this doc was fake I can't see how he had that many gfs.

  20. billy

    High Fidelity much?

  21. tofik

    poor dumb bastard

  22. Graham

    I agree with carpenter I was in disbelief when this guy was listing out so many chicks.

  23. Yzza Periwinkle

    This movie does not work. Adverts and trailer portion only. Went to Google videos and Youtube to watch. Same BS there.

  24. main_squeeze

    man are you on drugs? you can't be that stupid

  25. Yowza

    Just saw this movie last night via Comcast ON Demand for $5.00 and it was awesome overall. My husband and I really loved it. Very original.

  26. Shaurya

    It was a good documentary.atlast he understand...relation is not to be taken granted...not let the other person to be take it for granted.

  27. Allyson (19)

    If this is real than I hope he really did learn some things. Otherwise I'm afraid he might blow his brains out when Alex breaks up with him =/
    But it was a really funny, cute doc!

  28. cjay

    i love this guy. he's my new hero.

  29. Hardy

    Who cares if it's fake or not, fun watch in any case and Chris is quite a character... :-)

  30. Yavanna


    Tell us about your sexual failures....

  31. ChieftestofSinners

    Whatever funny elements this doc had, they were cancelled out by the corny, quasi-scripted quality of the film. I might as well have watched The Hills.






  34. BBC

    I challenge all people to look back at all their relationships. Remember back to when you first met the person, and before you had sex with that person. When you had disagreements, were they disrespectful (ie. f-bombs)? Now think about after having sex, and whether or not there was a change in the disagreements (were they disrespectful ie. hatred, f-bombs etc.)?

    Be honest with yourself.

    Look at Chris and the way all those women hated him. Ya he was a douche bag towards them, but they were intimate, and then hated him. How does that work? This guy did not know how to have a real relationship, because all he thought about was having sex with these women. In the end he figured it out maybe?

  35. cj

    i hope that none of you really think this was real... albeit some "reaction" scenes were. mostly scripted and mostly been done before.

  36. K.T

    I thought this was going somewhere untill he decided his real problem was sex... oh my goodness.
    If ever a person avoided to see his own flaws and accept/change them this was one.
    Being this selfish I doubt it would ever work out with anyone.
    And omg having sex is like having a drink in this movie... I find it shocking people like him find it natural to just have sex with someone you met like the same day or even the same month. It would not suprise me at all if the psychology of a person that invests so easily is problematic to the extend of having sexual problems.
    And that BDSM stuff this film would be better without.
    I don't recommend this to anyone unless you are bored crazy and enjoy watching a man suffer from his flaws.

  37. Mary

    This is very bad movie. It is a complete failure.

    The main character, and director, is the most annoying figure you could imagine. Most of the situations seen in this movie are obviously set up... It's an interesting subject and idea, but it just didn't work in the case of Chris Waitt. He made a really bad movie.

  38. Tia

    I really wasnt sure about this movie at the begining, but it got better towards the end! I really liked it! I laughed and I even almost cried. There were parts were I kind of felt bad for him, and parts when I didnt like him, but having so many different emotions during this movie is what made it so good I think. I dont know if it was real or not, but it was entertaining!

    (he was a little dumb) :)

  39. detctive james

    chris, im 8 years old and i loved this doc. we are studying this is school and i have the same problim. you go man!!

  40. detctive james

    chris, im 8 years old and i loved this doc. we are studying this is school and i have the same problim. you go man!!!

  41. kevin jackson

    de@r detctive j@mes,
    wh@t iz wrong witchu? like re@lly m@n? wh@t kind of school studiez dis??

  42. VeE

    Taking 07 pills of Viagra will cause an instant heart attack, vasodilation and extreme blood flow inside the body, it is even hard to stand up!

    Any how interesting documentary.
    I liked "I know a woman who is always ready to talk to me, it is my mom"

  43. Curly

    Ha ha ha absolutly LOVED this....quite funny and touching...the ending came together so well it seemed contrived but either way it was well done!

  44. Neon

    I also doubt whether some part of the film is real but there are real life situations within it.You are lucky to have a mum who is direct and points out your failures, if you don't listen to what she says then what is the point of going outside looking for it, because she is a women who have lived long enough to know a lot about relationship.

  45. Mari Juan Ha

    Ya some parts of the fill I think are totally unreal but fused with real life buts that ok. 7 viagra would = exploded dick.
    I like how this guy put himself out their, but i did not appreciate the scene of watching his ass and penis being squezed, he kind of over did it. I think he has a good sense of humor and thought the best part was when the 10 guysd are aLL TELLING HIM HOW TO MAKE his cock work, and 1 kid tries to tell him he must be gay even though he looked like a virgin to me.
    all in all chris doesn't have it that bad, i mean some guys his age have never even had a girl friend or real life girl and has like 10 which is still alot for most guys.

    The psycho doctor was pretty funny and i loved the song about lesbians, rofl lmao. on the other hand I think his dick doesnt work because he maybe doesn't like the girls enough. If you try to have sex with a girl you really do not like you can have trouble getting it hard enough, or if you feel pressured or are not ready. Long story short don't have sex with people you don;t want to have sex with especially if your a man b/c you won't be able to get it up. This is not an unusual problem, most men just don't admit to it or hide it when it happens.

  46. JA

    That was so funny, couldn't stop laughing. Share the same problem, but to be honest I dont think about it that much anymore. You are so funny mate. Great doc

  47. InvestigatorBrynn

    Dear detective james.... YOU'RE EIGHT! What "problim" could you be talking about?!

    silly goose

  48. Bianca

    God, Chris. He's 30-something acting and dressing like he's some kind of grungy highschool student. He looks exactly what I would call a 'deadbeat'.

  49. james

    the real question is, is chris still with alex?

  50. Malleabis

    Oh man, I loved this one.

    There is a general feeling of pathetic-ness throughout the film that some might not be into, but it's countered by this guy pretty much being completely open to the world about his shortcomings... which is beautiful.

    While maybe none of us are as incompetent as Chris, I think most of us will see a part of ourselves in his misery. We've all gone through a hard break up, and the self loathing that sometimes fallows.

    I found myself laughing out loud over and over, and it's pretty hard for a film to do that to me. It's not even that this is a very funny documentary (ok, it's pretty funny) but it's not trying very hard. It just made me feel like life/people/relationships are so complex, that all you can do is laugh and wipe away the tears.

    Hang in there Chris. A+ and double kudos bonus points for being a WARP film. (warp records is EPIC)

  51. Nasir

    u have made a really nice documentary
    its because ur emotions wer also into it
    and so does ur xgf's.

  52. Bulshka

    and as i have expected...
    it all comes down to sex.

  53. Tony Ryans

    So did he bang alex?

  54. oliver

    i met chris in a pub not to long ago just chatting about music and film. unaware of this film, someone mentioned it to me after, so thats whats led me here. to anyone who wondered, baring in mind this film was made a while ago, he is still with alex.

  55. Mike

    AAAgh!!!!! I have to wait till tomorrow cuz I've watched too many minutes today!! Poooooosticks

  56. litleMonster

    I'm about to dump watching your movie. Is it going to get better?

  57. InedibleHulk

    In case anyone is wondering, that censored word above rhymes with "mesbian". Didn't think it would be considered offensive on this site, especially considering what I just watched.

  58. julie

    its fake, how can people not tell that?!?! hahaha

  59. roberto hernandez

    really good stuff man, deepest/interesting(est?) thing i have seen for ages, adds to the strangeness watching it late night on channel 4.

  60. Ross

    Okay im pretty sure this isent as genuine as he makes out! and it does matter if its real or not because that makes a good documentary! He is just really good at making people watch. I recon maybe some of its real but theres no way he would have so many g/f if he showd no interest in any of them(the way he acted in the film)He's clever and it was an alrite documentary but would have been brillaint if it was more real!

  61. ruski

    just finished watching this documentary and thought it was very entertaining,was both humoured and saddened in equal measures!

  62. Clint

    hey man ive just watched your film and i got to hand it to you, you have bigger balls than i have because i couldnt do what you did but i totally identify with the things you've been through though, the viagra episode was a little nigh-eve but none the less an important aspect in your journey as else you wouldnt have met alex... ive been through similar and its given me some sort of hope....thank you for doin this.

  63. MA

    Watched your documentary last week. It was different and ballsy. Are you still going out with Alex? :P

  64. kimdracula

    I really thought this was going to be a good doc, but it was horrible. The main character dresses like he has no respect for himself, or the people he's meeting.

  65. russian boy

    The whole point of these movie - he met Russian girl.
    If you dated one, you know what I mean...

  66. kristine

    This was an excellent docu! Very entertaining and light-hearted. Very rarely do we see such honest and funny docus these days.
    And a small note Vlatko, in the 2nd paragraph of your description, last line. You wrote ".. takes an age to type our her answer to his question.." Im sure you meant OUT.
    Good docu again!

  67. Stefan

    Wow British people are ******* weird and Scotland has gotta be one of the most pasty and depressing places ive ever seen. I'd still love to visit though.

  68. ASHU

    This documentary is made in funny way and it was something I had never watched in other documentaries.Excellent work.

  69. creutzfeld

    Professionally and tastfully done. He could have made a proper movie out of this.

  70. Ivory Tower

    If the above commentators voted in the last election, I can finally understand how Obama was ever elected to the presidency.
    Now about the film:
    Important Point Number One. This movie was not a documentary; it was a mocumentary, in the tradition of 'Spinal Tap' and 'Best of Show', only with the production values of an 'independent' film, which is probably why so many were convinced it was real.
    Equally Important Point Number Two. The fact that all but a precious few realized Point Number One, demonstrates that the film works spectacularly! Chris has his tougue firmly implanted in his cheek, with dead-pan delivery and nuanced understatement. A practitioner of the 'less is more' school of acting, he is simply 'in-the-moment' brilliant, in addition to being side-splittingly hilarious.
    Final Important Point. Not only should we all recommend this film to our friends [without telling them Point Number One], we should encourage Chris to make more
    mocumentaries. I, for one, can't wait for his next one.

  71. matt

    This guy looklike Kurt Cobain

  72. Sano

    dumphead i agree one of the best documentarys ive seen to thumps up

  73. ProudinUS

    This was actually a pretty good doc.I found it funny as h^ll in some parts.

    I could've done without seeing him naked and gettin' his a$$ slapped around by a dominatrix though.( Of course if my wife was to get "lost" for a day or two and a hot gal wanted to get nasty with a belt...?...Nah...well..?..she better not leave any marks!)

    That girl at around 38:00 was hot! But fake as hell. A women like that is only for a "one night stand" and nothing else(as far as a sexual relationship goes.)

  74. Tapha

    Excellent documentary!! Man you made me laugh. ceazy experience
    U are courageous, u're a complete fool, u're depressing and touching at the same time...don't f@#$ up again. the last one looks nice.

  75. Mona

    Oh my god he turns me on...

  76. Epicurean_Logic

    The tragi-comic dead pan delivery was hilarious.

    I just got dumped again and it was a blast to watch this as it really cheered me up and made me laugh. I totally relate to Chris in this movie. Yes it is a mockumentary but there is still something cathartic about relating epic failure to a global audience.

    Here is the condensed version of my sexual failures over the last 9 months (reader discretion advised):

    I'm an accountant, organic, oral jelly kamagra, corn fed, "You're a great kisser", Russian internet bride, man hating, fucked me into A&E, couldn't get it up, worked her down to 200 Euro's, didn't want to stop till she started running out of the room, voluntary work, "you have a lovely cock", £50 a pop emotionally detached, $100 shoes, oh shit she is ignoring my cunt and cock sexts, "I'm not that type of woman", Greek dancing, free-to-roam-on-the-mountainside- organic-chicken, 3 hours a day on messenger, "my rich boyfriend from Germany", chase/ignore/chase/ignore, an Israeli homosexual called Eli, A-B-C-D reasons why I make a lousy partner, stop hitting on my date, Hmmm (hands in a praying position), "I only fuck men in power positions", "oooh it's painful from behind", Tequilas?, " I am loving, caring, sharing, giving, kind, caring, loving, sharing, giving and loving ", Never listen to Rush while fucking.

    Oh yes and some Romanian poetry. Any questions?

    Yes my tale can easily compare with yours Chris. 8/10.

  77. Vlatko

    Nice @Epicurean_Logic. Pretty awesome 9 months.

  78. doctoe evil

    I found it hard to belive that this jobless idiot had so many great looking girlfriends. I think I would like to move to that town and date some of them hot clueless babs

  79. JillBo

    "Wow British people are ******* weird and Scotland has gotta be one of the most pasty and depressing places ive ever seen. I’d still love to visit though."

    Yes Stefan, ALL of what ever country you are from looks JUST like the worst area of it too. What an ignorant comment.

  80. Epicurean_Logic

    Question: What do women want?
    Answer!: Shoes!
    Answer2: Everything.
    Answer3:That is an illogical question captain...
    Answer4: They don't know what they want.
    Answer5: Read darwins origin of the species to find out.
    Answer6: Whatever thaey say it is, dont believe them

    Hope that clears things up.

  81. Epicurean_Logic

    Question: What do men want?
    Answer1: Barbeques!
    Answer2: women.
    Answer3: Don't make me laugh! I can barely chew gum and make love at the same time!!!

  82. Tim Lawson

    I was under the same impression that it was a mockumentary, but the credits told differently.... was it really?

    if it was, it was bloody brilliant.... awesome acting I thought

  83. Cia'nan Cerotus Cathmor

    I have great support for this man and great filmmaker, its raw, its real, its not some overused comedy or anything like that, its pure god damnit, i would love to hang out with this guy for a day. And on the state of women, just like men, 98.9% of them are whores on the inside. If i was a woman i would f*** you, just letting you know lol, you look like kurt cobain, who wouldnt want a piece of that? ill tell you who...no one. Which means everyone wants to f*** him, im assuming if i didnt f*** up the grammer or spelling as i am extremely high on the green, I love how people throw out jobless idiot before anything else sometimes, i dont have a job....yet i study molecular biology and quantum physics. Just cause you got a job at f***ing target doesnt make you king s***, now run back to the service industry and spit on some more burgers.(refered tp doctoe evil<-----i know...what a f***ing douche).

  84. Epicurus

    i have to moderate these comments so please try not to swear and if you are going to, then censor them yourself please.

    you say you study molecular biology and quantum physics...what school do you go to? what year are you in?

  85. catfur1903

    Whether or not it was intentional (which I think was the whole point) it was nice to see that Chris was retrospective enough about himself and the typical "man" that it was very funny. I kept thinking "you pathetic bastard". I liked how he showed how really clueless men can be about women.

  86. cezy

    I am pretty sure this is a mockumentary, anyway it was funny to see a man humiliating himself in front of his exes. And it was even funnier to see him getting whipped by the dominatrix... he he
    Ok, maybe some parts seemed really sincere, like the end, but I bet most of it was fiction.
    And I do not believe that somebody who looks so much lie kurt cobain wouldn't find a girl who'd have sex with him on the spot!
    nice doc

  87. Zsuzsanna Szigeti

    The Russian girl promised to call him is his girlfriend since. :-)

  88. Frances Black

    He does look a lot like Kurt Cobain doesn't he! lol
    Perhaps he will have some luck hitting on Courtney Love?

  89. Miles Weston

    Thats was bloody hilarious

  90. Eastedie

    Were his dishelved clothes created by a professional costume designer? I can't help thinking a shave, shower and some clean clothes wouldn't have hurt his chances. Note most of the women he dated were pretty fastidious about their appearance. I'ts hard to believe they took him seriously.

  91. Yusiley S

    I wouldn't go out with Kurt Cobain, much less stick his diseased penis inside of me (sorry years of needle usage and drugs would make him a ill-fitted mate, too unhealthy to mate with).

    Also another thing to add, you study molecular biology and quantum physics, yet you can't construct your sentences more properly, more coherent and without the profanity. If I were a biologist or physicist, I would be embarrassed to be seen near you. Clearly your collage or university don't teach their students how to write professionally.

  92. Yusiley S

    There is a huge difference between sex on the spot (one night stand) and a lasting relationship. Clearly this guy doesn't have any issue with one nighter sex, otherwise he wouldn't be having so many girlfriends, but this is a doc on wanting to know why his relationships didn't last at all. Just because women want sex with you don't mean they want you as a long term partner... maybe these women just wanted sex with Kurt Cobain and move on to a real man whom they can have a real longing relationship with.

  93. Yusiley S

    That's because he acts and dresses like a high school teenager. If he acted and dressed like a real man and not a child, he would look as the same age as they are.

  94. Godsclaws

    hahaha pretty funny, especially the interview with "Rachael" that cracked me up! Seriously tho, this guy is a d@#$head... no motivation, no ambition, just...nothing inside a nobody...

  95. Ware Darren

    This is all scripted! Does anyone think this is real?!?!?

    "Make chums" with all the characters associated with this on the Facebook and you'll find they're stiil all mates and some currently work together. Learn to:
    (i) Be sceptical
    (ii) Observe for yourselves
    (iii) Judge the evidence for yourselves
    (iii) Remain the individual you hope to be

    ... Then, and only then, bother to move your fingers to post something that adds the value...

  96. Ware Darren

    Well spotted!! :)

    After watching (most) of it, it's pretty darn obvious this wasn't in the slightest degree 'real'!!! So, 'no', they didn't take him seriously as they're playing roles as any actors are incentivised to do!

  97. Sephiroth

    @Cia'nan... you're illiterate. I'm guessing "studying", by your definition, means watching TV. I highly doubt you're enrolled in a four-year school.

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