There's No 3G In Heaven

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Storyline

There's No 3G In Heaven

One suicide is a disaster, but what happens when a neighborhood is shattered by an array of suicides, one after another, all of them teenagers? Do the parents secretly mourn, apprehensive that articulating their anguish could result in more suicides? Or does the people come together, so that parents can tell their narratives and in turn do something to battle the depression and its ramifications?

Until now, generally agreed insight has been to plainly minimize the talks about the suicides but in speaking to people who've lost children, reporter Liz Jackson found that teenagers are in fact talking about the suicides constantly on Facebook. Social media has the power to change attitude, for better or worse, and it's now acknowledged that suicide avoidance tactics need to deal with this.

As one parent makes it clear, it was only after the suicide of her daughter that she found out that her child had been debating her despair and self-destructive thoughts on Facebook. When calls and messages kept coming the mother was forced to answer:

"Can everyone please stop calling and messaging (my daughter). She doesn't have her phone. I do. And by the way there is no 3G in heaven."

This documentary elaborates the story about one district in a an Australian city where the danger of repeated suicides among teenagers became so big that parents and authorities, joined by psychologists, held an old-school municipal conference to allow the parents and friends of the victims to tell their sides of the stories.

It was a brave and dubious step but it was the only way they thought they could deal with the problem. In doing so they believed they could break the horrible graveyard silence and find a way to challenge this mute adversary. You will be startled by what you're about to watch.

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Comments and User Reviews

  • leedslad

    So sad, really feel for the families.

  • Mark Filby

    Wars, Starvation, Greed, and an endless parade of lying spivs called politicians and silly parents who have sold their souls out for the Almighty Dollar are the root cause of societies problems. Broken families, broken children who cannot cope with societies duplicity and lies are the one's with the mental health issues!!!
    There is the PROBLEM! OUR society IS insane.
    "being well adjusted to a profoundly sick society is no indication of mental health". These innocents are making the ultimate statement to their society! They are screaming at us that WE are the failures to be the beings of love we are meant to be, not slaves to the mindless money junkies who kill for profit.
    "I would rather be dead then alive in this sick perverted society"
    I ask all the corporate profiteers to justify tearing society apart for profits! FALSE PROFITS!
    I accuse society of being mentally ill collectively! You are all diseased if you think the children are the problem! YOU are in denial of how atrocious our society is. It's a total disgrace for the human race.

  • Adam Young

    Agreed. the banker killed the chance of an average citizen ever owning their home. science killed God but failed to replace it with something better as far as hope goes. kids are being sent the message that to live your life now as there is no tomorrow. job market is at a competitive high thanks to corporate globalization. i feel sorry for the youth. they don't seem to know how to grow up and while some of this is due to being raised in a hyper commercial world, pampering them with the latest distractions, a lot of it has to do with our pervert society of profits first, people second. the only way this is gonna change is the system needs to be destroyed, not fixed. and in the excitement and horror of a world gone mad, where the 99% will rise up and overthrow their evil corporate puppeteers. then only then in the ashes will a possible future be found.

  • Janeen Clark

    its time to create a world where children teenagers and adults can live a comfortable life of abundance and acceptance, while co-operating re-building society where human needs are the top priority.

  • ~Oliver B Koslik Esq

    The bureaucracy of the government is probably the most disappointing thing on the topic of "fixes".

    The "code of silence" is the real killer. That and the abusive, violence obsessed culture we sit in, that everyone seems to think is hilarious.

    My heart goes to all victims of bullying and suicide...God knows I've spent my fair share of time and energy combating it, the best way I can.

  • rg57

    Sustainability needs to be the top priority, or your world isn't going to have living humans on it for very long.

  • dmxi

    these are symptoms of a sick society!another 'light weight' towards tipping point.......

  • Imightberiding

    Very sad & even more frustrating. A society ill-equipped & frightened, with collective parenting skills far short of the task of raising children. These parents seem willfully ignorant of life in general.

    "Didn't know what suicide was, didn't no what depression was..." "I have never heard of cutting..." "...didn't interact or ask questions because I was afraid of the answers & wouldn't know what to say or do." "...never asked questions because I wasn't aware of anything."(paraphrased)

    This combined with an emerging generation of children with little to no concept of reality is a recipe for the disaster that has visited this community. This whole thing is so very sad & extremely frustrating. The guilt & anger of those left behind are feelings that can only be understood by those who have experienced the loss. For the kids who have chosen death over life, it is too late. The children still with us need to be made aware of the permanence of their decisions.

    This doc has an excellent title. That these kids continue to leave messages for their lost friends, displays the simple fact of their inability to grasp the reality of death.

    Please, anyone struggling with self-doubt, depression, self-esteem, or just struggling with life in general, seek help & don't stop until you have received the help you need & are satisfied with the answers. Please, anyone who loves or cares for someone else, call them or write them now, not later, to let them know how they are an important part of your life. It is too late after they are dead. "There's no 3G in heaven."

  • Bob Dole

    I agree with everything minus the "science killed God but failed to replace it with something better as far as hope goes"
    Under God humans were powerless, sinful, flawed, and disposable.
    Under Science humans are powerful, hopeful, efficient, and important.
    When I was religious it was the most shrouded time of my life, because God was in control, I didn't have to do much along the lines of being pro-active, because it was a set plan.
    When I found science the shroud lifted, I realized it was only me in control, I HAD to be pro-active, because I control the plan.
    I find the "Science" world to be MUCH brighter and more hopeful : )
    Huge difference, and if people are "depressed" by their new-found freedom and liberty, then dang, maybe humans do secretly want to be slaves.
    Anyone that truly believes that the "god" was more "hopeful" than science simply has not done the research and seen what science has done for us, vs what "god" had done for us. (implies God is real, this is not my belief btw)

  • dmxi

    i don't want to sound pedantic nor in use of pathos (with full
    respect to the mother involved & please don't understand this as
    criticism against) when being irritated by statement #1:"the kids have
    to know that suicide is final....when you're dead you're gone!becoming
    nothing(-ness)...." - following by #2 (after receiving calls by friends
    of her daughter):"....don't use this nr. anymore....she's in heaven!"

    i hope other kids don't take the latter too serious as it can mislead to
    hope of an-other/after better life which will or can push others over
    that line which she is trying to combat.i hope that kids see that hurt
    adults seek explanations in contradicting ways when preaching the
    opposite.

    as teens we are fixed or blind to romanticism esp in
    regards to hardship suffered...inflated by social pressure of only being
    individual by the cost of which label of texture one wears or brand of
    technology one possesses!....like the mother of the departed has shown
    when still perplexed by such an endurable loss that all the questions
    'WHY?' will never be answered,leaving no room for alternate (life/live)
    versions.teens are too young to grasp that life has many turns &
    quirks,the very essence of character building with mostly a change to the better & this is the hard thing to convey to ones children! i
    wish godspeed & wisdom to all parents....you have the hardest job
    without gratitude in this world,respect!....but, also respect to all
    kids/teens that are growing up in such complex times:'it's hard to
    maintain ones bearings!'
    ".. never forget that nature creates diamonds through pressure & time.....both mastered will sparkle weary eyes !"

  • Bob Dole

    I found MANY of the statements made by the parents in this video to be deeply disturbing and indicative of high levels of ignorance.
    I felt this was a lesson in cognitive dissidence, sad they (the parents) can't see it though. Tragic, but hopefully we can find a way to inspire the youth away from drugs and suicide and into something better.

  • dewfall

    Beautifully said d :)

  • Silsal

    I think one of the crucial lessons children through to adulthood need to learn from parents, loved ones or friends is to love themselves.
    Not to become arrogant but to truly love yourself for your talents and flaws and thoughts and feelings.
    We are a self deprecating society, the average person doesn't think they're good enough to get the promotion, or for their business idea to work or for the guy at the library to want to go out with them. All these negative thoughts rub off on kids when they are young forming a destructive inner monologue.
    It did with me and I nearly ended up like so many unfortunate teenagers. I still battle with it every day.
    Be honest with yourself, are you more likely to call yourself an idiot out loud or call yourself a legend?
    Teach by example. Give yourself audible praise for your kids and others to hear so they feel more comfortable about being kind to themselves.
    Obviously I don't mean arrogance but for example say you tripped and fell. It is common for people to get up and laugh at themselves or to call themselves a moron out loud or to get angry with the curb. All normal reactions.
    Now say you're running for a train and you manage to get through the doors just as they're closing Indiana Jones style. The most people normally allow themselves is a little smile and then they look at the floor. Celebrate that! That was totally ninja!!! Don't go over the top but at least give yourself a little praise a "Yay!" or something!
    If I had realised it's not a bad thing to love yourself sooner I wouldn't have spent 10yrs of my life hating myself.

  • Justas Griausmas

    That's the thing. A lot of people see what's wrong with todays society. However, the majority of them wouldn't want to sacrifice their right to be in the race to the top. Even the unfortunate ones. Actualy, I doubt i can even comprehend the alternative to being a mindless money junkie who kills for profit (if profit=benefit/advantage. Not just money). That's the human situation. To be with yourself and try to achieve something in your own little world or to have kids and wish them success. Only 1 in 100 can be a philosopher and do good by trying to untangle such problems as "society IS insane". Others have little investments in the collective good and for that to happen, one actualy has to forget the "collective" for a while and focus on those little things in his own little world. So, i think that one has to fight his own battle (without forgetting his closest comrades) until the very end, before he starts to think about the war itself.

    About those pure young souls who can not make it...I
    do think that the majority of people could and would learn a lot from them, if only given the chance, but...They themselves, being teenagers, have a lot of growing up to do. There should always be intelligent adults beside them, so they can safely reach the time in their lives when they can be certain that their decisions about such delicate things are the best decisions they will ever be able to make.

  • dmxi

    cheers dew,nice to 'read/see' you(-r avatar) again!

  • Herbert Napp

    "does the people come together"

  • Alv V

    Really a sad documentary. I've spent a lot of time online trying to write something that hopefully have made someone out there able to survive their depression. Usually I try to point out that how the world seem to be while suffering from a deep depression, is not the truth, not what "reality" is like, but rather a subjective experience that are likely to change into something more balanced, and that this is not the way that everyone experiences life, but that the majority of people are actually really scared of dying, because they enjoy all the things life has to offer and want as much of it as possible. I don't think anyone really want to kill themselves, but rather avoid the pain they experience at the moment, but then forget about anything else then what seem to be a static dark and hollow world with no other escape then suicide. And I think the infectious effect from suicides, making others do what they have considered as well, is some kind of signal from someone else that life really is as horrible as it seems.

    The whole phenomena about young girls and "cutting" is really getting into an epidemic and equally the lack of care, even ridiculing it with comments about "emos" and similar. It's not just a taboo anymore with suicides, but also to be depressed and to self-harm. They youth seem to have to become psychopaths in order to "fit in".

  • Sugarbush43

    FYI, "people" can be singular or plural.

  • bringmeredwine

    A very good post.

  • Pladi

    I truly believe that a general lack of discipline in modern society that exists during the upbringing of these children leads to lack of respect for their parents and themselves. You hear drugs drugs so many times. Its because of a total lack of parenting skills that these issues exist with a combination of modern social issues and peer pressure. But it comes down to parents. Children have to learn to "fear" their p-parents and that is RESPECT. You learn to respect your parents and their decisions, then you trust them and you also respect your life and who you are. You are not as easily "brought down" by other peers and what they have to say. I can go on forever. But it comes down to a poor parenting i personally think and truly believe that.

  • bringmeredwine

    I hear what you are saying.
    In my youth, during the seventies, my parents were older than most and were extremely strict. I felt like a prisoner. I grew to really resent them and learned to be a really good liar.
    Yes they taught me to be responsible and to stand on my own two feet, but at the same time they were strangling me with their endless rules and demands. They created an extremely angry, rebellious and unhappy teenager.
    There wasn't a soft place to fall or a haven from the cold cruel world in my house.
    I wish there was a happy medium for parenting.
    I was a very sweet and loving parent and now one of my adult children won't even speak to me
    Parents are only human and can only deal with their children to the best of their own ability.

  • Pladi

    You know why ? I will explain.. Because you still grew up around other kids who had more lenient parents. Not all parents were like your parents (proper) so you could compare your parents to say your friends parents and that created the "rebellion" within you. I see this happening very often in north america. For what i say to work you need almost the entire society to change and teenagers need to be disciplined by parents or teachers. This is how it has worked in the eastern Europe or soviet Russia. You never heard of bullies or teenage suicide. Teenagers lived happy. Things have changed there since too. We are trying to create a society against our human nature and instinct. We cannot forget that humans are like animals. behave based on instinct very often and discipline is necessary. But the culture and society has to change where discipline is seen as 'normal'. Which in today's world is not.

  • Leon Ford

    i think we are the ones that need to show the children respect for there personal boundorys instead of voilating them with our power and control trip leon ford

  • Pladi

    what did the mother in the video do different.. she did EXACTLY what you are saying. What happened ? Suggest a different alternative pls

  • Marlene Ful

    These parents are amazing to share their pain so that just maybe they can save a life

  • Lauri Neva

    What a moving film. Love needed lots!

  • Diane

    "Until now, generally agreed insight has been to plainly minimize the talks about the suicides." As a mental health professional for over 20 years, I've never heard of anyone suggesting this is EVER a good path. Talk, share and talk some more. Where did this information come from?

  • docoman

    Hence the 'couch' to lay on (get comfy and talk), the 'tell me how that made you feel' line, and they always 'need another visit or 2'. ;)
    Just jokin' with ya Diane... I agree with your post. :) Welcome to TDF mate.

    Maybe they meant on more of a community level the talk was minimised. The hope that 'their kid had something wrong with them that mine hasn't' maybe, the fear factor? Clearly the kids themselves are talking about it, and no dobut some of the parents between themselves were. I think the approach shown here in places where you get multiple suicides is a good idea. Talking about your problems with someone sensible, even if they only listen, is in my experience nearly always a good thing. And it no doubt helped the poor, grieving parents to get it out and hope it helps someone so their child's death wasn't for nothing.

  • Diane

    Ah yes, docoman...us counselor types get that all the time. ;-) You've defined the problem very well....the young ones want to talk but the stigma is with the adults who need to "pose" as if nothing's wrong. The aim is to train everyone (children, adults) to be "sensible." Children should know immediately to go to an adult and adults should know better than to avoid the topic. Instead we create a false binary by labeling some as "good to talk to" (i.e. sensible) and others to avoid (i.e. the ones we've labeled untrustworthy). I've trained many junior high children in active listening, empathy, as well as what to do if another child mentions suicide, and I felt very comfortable sending them to listen to their peers. The message for them is clear: we trust you to do the right thing. When they become adults I believe they will be less likely to shy from talking/listening with their children. If only training of this sort were required curriculum. Isn't it as important (if not more important) than math/science/reading?

  • Linda Best

    Boundaries are essential. We parents also need mentoring. Children/ adolescents don't even want the freedom to do everything they may be screaming for. They want safe boundaries prescribed by parents who genuinely love them from the inside first.

  • dmxi

    false prophets make false profits by claims for a better future.

  • Pladi

    This is one of the outcomes of today's corrupt society. Teens are under pressure to look feel, act like whats on TV all the time. And the failure of parents. How come this never existed before the 90's and especially it never exists in 3rd world countries and never heard of this happening in Europe. "We cant invade their space " WHATT the hell are you talking about.. its your kids. They are still KIDS dont give them soo much freedom and do invide their space because you wont know what they are up to. Do not give kids soo many options growing up. My father disciplined me during my upbringing. I was very strong and confident during high school. I was mature. Kids do this these days because they dont have REAL problems. Everything is given to them. Their are fed each opportunity by their parents. They have the best clothes and cars and want to hang out with the most popular kids because its "cool".. This is the culture and the issues here is not to each individual person but the issue is deep in the roots of the society. Its much more complicated than "we have to talk to them, understand their struggles and issues".

  • Paranoid Android

    You ar ignorant. Teens aren't so s*upid and unaware that they kill themselves because they can't have a car or something ridiculous like that. Being young doesn't mean you don't have problems. Depression and other mental illnesses can really get going as teen hormones run wild, and things happen to people at any that can devastate them - bullying, sexual abuse etc etc. Don't be so shortsighted.

  • Pladi

    and why cant you counter argue without insulting ?? i didnt say teens kill themselves because they cant have a car. I SAID teens are under alot more pressure in 2013 because of the society. Read my first few sentences. And these people are not born with depression. The doc clearly states they lived normal/good lives. So they dont have "an illness".

  • NewTGV

    Fear is not respect. But I do agree that poor parenting lies at the root of most problems.

  • Maya

    This is the recipe for bringing your child back from the brink of death as well as gaining thier love and trust in the process, this is how I've done it:

    1- I quit my full time job, lived on the very basics with my husband's wages, chocolate or ice cream are luxury now.

    2- Took another full time job..my child (16 years old).

    3- Monitored my child's mobile phone...that includes every photo, every message, every call, every website search, every keystroke, including facebook, Chat on and any other social network.

    4- Drop offs and pick ups are only done by me, no "my friend will drop me off".

    5- Stopped buying my child anything or giving any money AT ALL, this is to force them to take part time job...which it did.

    6- Stopped giving any form of advice, just listened to what little my child was willing to share at the time.

    7-Stopped being affectionate at all, only accepting.

    8- I only did my child favours when a favour was given in return.

    9- I stopped telling my child to talk to me about what's bothering them, only "if you need to vent, I'm here".

    10- Went to bed the same time as my child and woke up same time they woke up.

    DO NOT at any stage confront your child with thier lies, as you will discover many, you will be tempted to show them the lies, but that will ruin everything you've done.
    You have to be calm at all time,no yelling at all. Your child will try to aggravate you, to get a reaction from you, stay in control.( I used to drive to a nearby park,put the music on and scream out loud, then come back home feeling better.
    Anytime my child was nice or kind or did something nice (something as little as spending a bit of time with the rest of the family in the family room, rather than staying in the bedroom, I did something nice to them (like making them thier favourite pancake dish) only them and not other siblings.
    Finally, if you are not mentally or emotionally strong and prepared, don't do this, as you will see a side of your child you never thought existed.
    18 monthes later my child is at university, happy,positive, gratefull,a completely different person, and I became a completely different mother, nothing is given anymore, everything has to be earned.
    I won my baby back...but it was the hardest fight of my life. Now when people tell me they plan to have children, I encourage them to get a pet instead lol.