How Will We Love?

How Will We Love?

2009, Society  -   31 Comments
Ratings: 7.39/10 from 88 users.

How Will We Love, from the filmmaker and composer, Chris Brickler, explores the human experience of romantic love and the modern dynamics that challenge long-term commitment.

In 2004, Brickler interviewed his grandparents after their 63rd anniversary with the goal of creating a family DVD to carry on their legacy.

This insight into his grandparents lasting relationship - now 68 years long - pushed him to ask others about their opinions and feelings on commitment.

What they told him opened a groundswell of dialogue that couldn't be contained in one short story or song.

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5 years ago

wanted to watch, said it wasnt available in my country...

its my life story, wooking pa nub in all da wong p'waces. wookin pa nub in da wong faces


7 years ago

Very great documentary! This film was very insightful and got me thinking about my own relationship and realize again how blessed I am. Extremely heartfelt and authentic.

However, I felt that the documentary was a bit narrow because it did not include LGBT relationships, and lacked diversity in cultures. Including both would have been more inclusive and representative of the changes in society, compared to 50 years ago, which could increase the audience viewing the documentary.

8 years ago

Thanks Chris for making this film, and thank you sooo much Chris's grandparents, in particular, for being in the film. I just finished watching it, and loved it! I need to see it a few more times...lots to take in.

I think my favourite part was when your grandmother was in the car talking to the person who was driving (you?), and told that person, how much she loved that person, then paused, (and just when I thought she was going to shy away from that topic) she said it again, but with even more heart & depth of feeling. It was so wonderful & moving for me to see love expressed so sincerely & openly.

8 years ago

Not much science here. Move along.

9 years ago

I thought that the documentary was pretty good. It made me think more about how our society sees marriage and it made me realize that divorce isn't necessarily the best way to solve problems in marriages. It'd be better to talk it out and whatnot instead of just running away. I mean you did see something really good in that person that you married right so why run away?

linda love
10 years ago

WOW WOW WOW. great work 100% true. In thees days people love just look and shopping. that how they understand word LOVE, that all. THANKS FOR AMAZING SHARE. ONELOVE.

11 years ago

best doco on here so far loved it made me cry

12 years ago

I am quite disappointed. I was interested when they touched upon historical aspect of relationships and how the model we follow today is relatively recent. Unfortunately, the documentary ended up focusing on the basic two- person heterosexual relationship model with the ultimate goal of marriage.

It is more couple's counseling than a documentary on alternative relationship models. It unfortunately does not question mainstream society's paradigms even though it does not hesitate to express how so many relationships are failing.

If so many people are unsuccessful in finding that "perfect" relationship, maybe it is society's imposition of one model that should questioned - not blaming individuals for not trying hard enough to fit one mold.

12 years ago

I did'nt get the feeling the doc was based on extreme religious values although some of the people had those values....and plus most people have religious values without knowing it...we have been conditioned! The doc portrayed views from people of many different backgrounds, age and professions but gave the impression to have been filmed mainly in the vicinity of Chris dreads, no gays, no extremes....not sure where the guy is from, let's say his view is the average view and that's ok.
I enjoyed it and was inspired by many of the things that were said, it brought me back to my past relationshipS in many ways, my faults/their faults/our faults, my rights/my wrongs and the things i would do different if it was to be relived.
My parents have just celebrated 54yrs of marriage, i can honestly say that in the 19 yrs that i lived with them i never heard or saw them have one heated argument so i believe the couple at 39 minutes who said they never fight.
"Power struggle is the second part of a marriage (relationship married or not)" I agree with that.
Although my whole life has been around parents and grand parents that showed great respect to each others, it has not been my story. I don't blame all the men i have been with but i can honestly say that most of them have lived very difficult childhood and been raised under roofs that were full of screams and cries. Why did i chose those men...i don't know but the next one in line will be part of a much longer "interview" from and with me before i wrapped my heart in a box in the name of love.

12 years ago

i thought this was the best documentry i've seen so far and i've watched like 400 already. Gina Hamon

12 years ago

life changing

12 years ago

This movie has a Christian tilt, this is the "secular" version but if you look it up it was made my religious people and marketed for people who believe that way. It advocates old fashioned ideas of marriage and Christin values. It does not feel super judgmental but it doesn't really give an equal look at things like living together in a non-marital partnership or things like gay marriage.

It isn't an awful documentary but it isn't great. It would be much better without the slightly unbearable music and windows movie maker style captions that come up every couple minutes. I also would have enjoyed a more objective view of marriage with a more diverse group of ideas.

12 years ago

what i think is that too much interference and too much closeness leads to the relationship crisis, like listening to ur favourite song on repeat for 24/7 will make u less attracted to it. so even in marriage one needs to keep a little distance and give space to the partner. This will not only make both of them not too close to each other but make them do effort to come close to each other throughout their life. blame game is always dangerous, never think that u too are different persons, each one of ur mistake or bad decision in life should be considered the fault of both of u. the sex thing is not long lasting, its just for a decade or two. so focus on the long term benefit.

12 years ago

Very cool! Thank you for the upload :)

12 years ago

It's reviving!

12 years ago

I really enjoyed this. I think you distilled some profound truths from your many interviews and you give great insight into what qualities are embodied in a lasting and loving relationship.
You have a talent for documentaries and I hope you continue to pursue this genre. I think it takes a keen eye for relevancy which you show.

12 years ago

I really enjoyed this movie. It touched my heart and gave me hope. I think alot of people could learn from this film.

Sadie The Celt
12 years ago

cor....what a lovely film! words fail me!

12 years ago

Great film. LOve iT!!!

12 years ago

Very sweet. My wife and I are on 25 years...

I'm just starting to trust her... Although, she could very well try to kill me at any moment!

I must be vigilant...

12 years ago

Thank you for making this film. It was such an insightful look into the principles of a strong, healthy and long lasting marriage. My hubby and I really enjoyed watching it together and see the potential of using your film as a teaching tool in marriage counseling/ministry. We have already started to recommend it and your website to others.

May all you endeavors be blessed with success.

12 years ago

Very inspiring docu movie. How may I purchase a copy?Thanks for your wonderful work.

12 years ago

Berrry good.

13 years ago

Awosome job, THANK YOU bro.

anne V
13 years ago

there were some cute moments. But I find this was quite a narrow vision. We are in time where gay marriage should also be considered...and this comes from someone who is heterosexual.

I read in a book years ago about transcending percentages. example that whole 60% men/ 40% woman cheat thing....I don't think i'd be in such a great relationship today if it wasn't for me shutting out all of the garbage of generalizing love and gender. the man I'm with now tears down many stereotypes of what men are and want. We need to start putting men and woman in the same box., no more separation.

It's important to believe that the one that is right for you is out there, and you may have to kiss some toads along the way.
and for those of you who don't want a life in love, commitment or even children. Good for you.(not sarcastic) It's your choice. Just be honest with everyone, including yourself. I think we need to start asserting the idea of "To each their own", the only life we should be dictating is our individual own.

13 years ago

Yes I might have to change my nickname - it is a bit girly - throwback to a game I play and all my online friends have known me as Yav for about 5 years.....

13 years ago

LOL I guess I'll keep looking then :)

Vlatko how did she get a picture! I want a picture :D

13 years ago

Well that's 1 hour and 17 mins of my life I wont get back.