2006, Drugs  -   77 Comments
Ratings: 8.35/10 from 164 users.

This documentary investigates the growing influx of crystal methamphetamine usage within the gay populace. Through the testimonies of a several gay men, we understand of the drug's magnetism, its assurance, and why its reputation is rising.

Some of the people are ongoing users, and they expose their lives to us while under the continual drug effect.

Others are former drug addicts who have succeeded to climb back from the bottom to which their obsession brought them. Throughout, the film is a courageous look at the destructive properties of the dependence to this very severe drug.

Meth is an amine derivative of amphetamine, C10H15N, used in the form of its crystalline hydrochloride as a central nervous system stimulant, both medically and illicitly.

For Ryan the high was so good that the pain that he was feeling because of the disconnection from his family, the society, and from not knowing where he fits, it allowed him to escape from it. For a long period of time, the first six months that he was using, he had it under control. But once that door is open the door actually disappears... because once you hand control over to "Tina" you ain't going to drive... there is no way.

James was an average disaffected gay man; he had self esteem issues, growing up in a very middle class environment. He always thought that if he made something of himself and had lots of money and the material toys and possessions it was going to suddenly validate him. Ten years ago he got the six figure job, he got the BMW, he met the right guy... but it was never enough, nothing was ever going to be enough.

In the early 90's people were looking for a way that they can rock out and there was something new that was emerging - the circuit scene. In that environment crystal meth was allowed to kind of blossom. The fear of not fitting was gone.

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3 years ago

I wish I knew what happened to all of the men interviewed in this film. I hope they are OK. <3

5 years ago

I think this is an excellent documentary about addiction. The men were very candid and genuine. What I found helpful was knowing the fundamentals and outcome of addiction to anything is pretty much the same. It starts out fun and the next thing you know you are a slave to it. Its a parasite that slowly and eventually destroys its host. It changes your brain to where getting off is very difficult and then there is the physical dependency that develops too. You start to lower your bar further and further becoming and doing things you never thought you'd do. You start losing everything important in your life until its just you and your becomes a caged hell on one level you love and another level you hate. Anyone who overcomes addiction should be very proud they were able to do so. It takes strength, determination, and courage and self love.

6 years ago

I love how everyone was so candid and real.
Did anyone realize that the guy seated in front of his medication is still high, pretending to be recovered with a grin plastered on his face and his pupils dilated to the hilt? Producers: this is a serious oversight.

6 years ago

Are aall meth heAds faggits?

6 years ago

Good Documentary, well put together and believable. But the Volume seemed to start really low and continued to get quieter as it went.

6 years ago

Now I don't want to get off on a rant here, but....

I have watched many documentary's on meth I also am a Poly drug user myself with a masters in speed (so to speak) and I have to say this is THE MOST accurate portrayal of Methamphetamine I have ever seen.

Did you notice they all have teeth? and decent skin? and no crazy propaganda looks? Cause that's the real face of drugs. Yes go down south where they don't take care of themselves in the first place and you'll find your picture perfect toothless skin scratched meth head but THIS is the real deal. And this isn't just for gay culture, it's gay, straight, bi, man or woman you'd be surprised the people around you who use. There shouldn't be any singling out of specific drugs and a stigma attached to them.
MOST drugs have abuse potential all drugs have an LD-50 and no one drug is "the worst" it's the users and the circumstances surround them. I'm not advocating it in ANY way but I think the stigma needs to be removed so people aren't looked down upon for being addicted to one thing and treated differently from people addicted to something else and helped and treated with respect like everyone should.

But of course that's just my opinion I may be wrong....

matthew walker
7 years ago

the first 40+ minutes are spent ostensibly glamorizing the drug, with scant attention dealing with the downside. The maker appears to be still stuck in a tad bit of denial if he still finds such a treatment of the topic acceptable, no? As someone with 28 years since touching drugs, I can't imagine such a point of view.

7 years ago

I can claim myself a fan of this documentary but I find its use of explaining the highs of meth to be dangerous in nature. In my not so subtle opinion I think its best to leave the sexual highs and hysterias associated with this poison as an untold fact. I understand this would not allow for a linear narrative and I am sure one could suggest that this , in itself, is irresponsible but I would vehemently disagree. It is the sexual high of this drug which gives it the addictive hold for a lot of users. Feel free to disagree but one cannot alter this addicts struggle which began because of the fact that Cocaine no longer allowed one addiction of mine to feed the other. Meth did and still does. The focus need not indulge the drugs highs...the lows are too great to have a potential users sight line moved away from.

9 years ago

I don't get called back to it. I was never gay, but I experimented. It is the dirtiest drug there is; it will mess up your innards. It is Satan's drug. I don't know how else to describe it. I really hope that people will not have to use it to find that out.
Yes, there are 'cleaner' strains, but amidst those, you will feel your body rotting, and your family will know, despite your efforts to ward off the knowledge of it all.
Please stay away. I beg you all.
Please, please, shoot me a message if you're so curious that you still need convincing.
I don't divulge information to just anybody.

9 years ago

very blunt..this documentary is very blunt

9 years ago

Leave Brittney Alone!

9 years ago

Thank you for this documentary. It opened my eyes to so much in regards to a very very dear friend of mine. And now I understand much more about the "why's, what's, and, what the hell?" is going on. I will do just about anything to help save him. He is such a darling and dear person to so many people. This drug is truly a drug from hell. IMHO. One more thing: Kudos to ALL of the men in this documentary for your honesty, and just the fact of letting people into your lives---past and present---to most certainly be of help to others.
With Respect~

Marlene Ful
9 years ago

May they be strong in their new life I wish them luck and may the sun shine on them on the dark times to give them that strenght.Thanks for sharing I think they will save others.

chip griffin
9 years ago

that doc. was done well. very honest look at both meth and hiv. done very well...

KuffarLimeLeaf Bacon
9 years ago

Excellent insightful, detailed documentary. I wish the very best for all the guys in this video, and the mum. x

Richard Neva
9 years ago

Stupid people doing stupid drugs!

9 years ago

I'm not a drug user and I'm not gay but I don't understand why this particular drug is so popular among gay people. I mean why meth? I still don't get it.

9 years ago

Being a gay man, I could identify with the movie. Luckily crystal never did much for me. it was on my "gutter" list of nasty party drugs; a poor man's cocaine. One thing it does do is keep you alert. You can do boring mental work for hours without brain fatigue. I have a feeling if crystal were available at work along side the coffee machine, a lot more people would be opting for a bump of crystal over that cup of java.

9 years ago

so much to 'gay-pride',mh?full rating though for honest insight.

9 years ago

I thought this documentary was well done, but I think conveying the dangers of crystal meth would have more impact if some of the gay men shown weren't all pretty boys....if they had shown the meth mouth, the sagging pale skin, the anorexic look, and scabs all over the body, perhaps non using young gay men might be a bit more leery about experimenting with this nasty drug....

9 years ago

NX2, thanks for your latest comment to me. What you said wasn't shallow at all. Thanks for the in-put.

9 years ago

Wow! That was unexpectedly powerful & poignant. I thought the editing was quite creative & intelligent.

I've got to agree with @Bringmeredwine's initial comment about what an unexpected surprise this doc was. Very well done.

Although this was a rather unique perspective for some in that this doc focused on the gay community & drug use, it is certainly nothing new as the men interviewed attested to. I don't need to clarify that crystal meth is wide spread & rampant in the straight "party" community as well. I'm sure most know that.

I still remember the first time a friend of mine told me he had been using crystal back at the start of the 90's. I had the same sad feeling, almost of betrayal that I had when my best friend in the 7th grade told me that he had smoked pot for the first time.

We were all so much younger then & as has been said in the doc & in another post in this thread, we thought we had so many friends. Crystal meth is without question a very dark, different drug than any other. Almost always a one way street to ruin.

9 years ago

Damn...despite all negative consequences it still feels somehow tempting, you know? If anyone feels the same, then perhaps keep the following firmly in mind: " I get called back to it all the time. I recall it everyday.I have to recall everything, or else i'm in trouble. If i recall just some of the stuff, i'm in trouble."

9 years ago

To me to see this Doc really hit home and bring back memories what I' try to forget desperately,but watching this from the outside is give me different experience and I' know now wasn't alone the issues this peoples talking about.Back in 1991-2004 the Hollywood scene when we thought we had so many friends and yes I' was among so many individual and I' felt belong and didn't realize that I' am alone very alone.It's very sad because I' just want to be happy and excepted but the only thing take me in was the drug

9 years ago

My advice is: Don't watch this after downing several cups of coffee. Don't do that to yourself!

Patrick Adrien Varencaus
9 years ago

very honestly done doc.............

9 years ago

I found the volume a little low during this doc so I took the trouble to plug in some ear phones.
I must admit, when I first read the title of TDF's newest offering, I rolled my eyes and had little interest.
Because I don't have a life, I decided to give this doc a chance.
To my surprise, this is the best doc I've ever seen about drug use.
This doc catapulted me into a strange new world and kept me utterly fascinated! It was a wild ride through parts unknown, and the way this video was put together.......
I was exhausted as it finally started to wind down.
If hearing men recount their homosexual escapades makes you squeamish, then no, this is definitely not for you.
The scenes of Andrew the drug dealer (a guy I couldn't stand) at the end, packed a wallop! I actually cried. But just a little.