So What If My Baby Is Born Like Me?

2011, Society  -   112 Comments
Ratings: 6.55/10 from 11 users.

So What If My Baby Is Born Like Me?Jono Lancaster, 26, has suffered rejection and discrimination his entire life - all because of the way he looks. Born with a rare genetic condition, Treacher-Collins syndrome, Jono has no cheekbones or external ears and has endured years of bullying and countless hospital appointments.

The nature of the condition means that any child Jono fathers will have a 50 per cent chance of contracting Treacher-Collins. Now Jono has an important question he wants answered - what if my baby was born like me?

The film follows Jono and his girlfriend Laura as they go on a quest to find out the options available to them should they decide to start a family. Jono meets a variety of families who have faced or are facing this very conundrum.

He also meets with youngsters affected by Treacher-Collins to see if attitudes have changed since his days at school. Confronted by all the options, what will they decide? And will the decisions they make draw them closer together?

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112 Comments / User Reviews

  1. I don't have Jono's condition - I have a congenital heart defect which was likely caused by a random mutation. Because of my condition, I have had 5 surgeries, take medication every day, and have had congestive heart failure my whole life, which means that I can't carry a child. If I could hypothetically have a child (say via surrogacy) - I would not want them to have my condition, especially if they were a girl due to childbearing issues (which don't affect men with CHD in the same way). I just wanted to say I sympathise with Jono and that I don't think there is anything wrong with wanting to do everything you reasonably can to prevent your child from suffering from a genetic condition. Yes having a disability can be "inspiring" but it also comes with a lot of challenges which don't go away!

  2. These two are lovely people but I do get the impression that they're pretty wrapped up in their own romanticized vision of having a family. I'm glad there will be two loving grannies around who will help them when the realities of having a baby filter in, if that's what they end up choosing to do :) Good luck!

  3. For me, it's not about what the child will look like, this syndrome comes with lots of really serious complications. Jono was lucky, his case is fairly mild. Some of these kids need a trach for the rest of their lives. As far as I'm concerned, having a child, knowing this could be their life, is selfish and reckless and quite frankly, child endangerment. Adopt a child, there are thousands of kids out there that need a loving home.

  4. Honestly they should just adopt or not have children. Life is hard enough being an average looking person with good health. Treacher-Collins doesn't only affect your appearance, it also affects your health dramatically in a lot of situations. I know Jono has been pretty positive with the cards he has been dealt, but I think if he were a girl it would be very different. Girls are judged much harder on their physical appearance than men are. If they have a little girl with Jono's disease, I think when she grows up, it will be very hard for her. If I ever have a kid I would want him or her to be the healthiest, best kid they could be and do everything in my power to assure that.

  5. Good Luck Jono and Laura!

  6. .....looking forward to seeing how it all turns out for them...

  7. Have just read all the comments on this page, after watching the actual documentary. There are certainly some very interesting and varied points of view....some that made me cringe and ashamed to be of the human species. To Jono and Laura, who are sharing a very private and difficult part of their lives with the rest of the world, all I'd like to say is I hope it all goes well for you and I admire your strength and courage in the face of adversity.
    Whatever decision you make will be one that you have put a great deal of thought into, and I'm sure there are millions of children conceived everyday without any thought at all. Regardless of the outcome, you are both great parental material and no doubt, like the majority of parents all over the world, you will love your baby regardless.All the best for the future.

  8. Jono is so handsome I think I'm gonna cry...!

  9. the truth is: if the condition does not cause any negative health and is mere cosmetic then anyone who says the condition is a problem is choosing to be prejudice towards something that doesnt give them their free pleasure even though they want the pleasure for free and it doesnt rightfully belong to them, and that would be very selfish.

    1. huh?

    2. if someone wants to alter the appearance of something that doesnt belong to them, then we must defend the owner at all costs and resist the forceful alteration, because all individuals are self owned by God in the responsibilities they chose by action.

  10. This movie was very inspirational....def. a movie that everyone should watch. You never know what can happen when you get to the point of having children and this movie really makes you think...

  11. Jono is a wonderful person, normal guy, with a great sense of humor (and T-shirt collection!). Laura is also a funny, relatable normal girl. Nothing fancy, just boy meets girl, fall in love… What the fuss is all about is societal. It is not a question of will they love the child no matter what, but will society. That is the sad state of human "disorder". The fact that we have medically “evolved” to a platform of being able to select is not progression it is oppression. I feel sad for them that they feel pressure at all as they both seem capable of loving any child.

  12. well that was c***... why did i just waste my time watching a doco with no ending. bloody hell i hate when they do that! dont finish filming the doco until it has an ending dammit!

  13. I wonder if Stephen Hawkins wishes he wasn't born, seeing that he don't conform to the norm. I know the pope probably would see him of.

    Despite what the majority thinks, putting diversity into the gene poll is in all cases a positive thing. So by all means, please piss inn the poll like your existence depended upon it.

    Aliens might come tomorrow with a genetic virus that wipes out all sapiens, with ears. Jono would be Adam.


  14. I understand the woman, it is important for a woman to give birth to a child. But for the man? The only thing he gives is a sperm, it's not that important to him, only for egoistic reasons of having a role in the reproduction of humanity. Why doesn't the woman go the sperm bank, however it's called, and get fertilized by someone else's sperm? it must be terrible leading a life like that little girl, depending on breathing and feeding tubes.

    1. Man that's one misandric comment.So only women have the right to want to be biological parents?When men do, they're being "egoistic"?

  15. If science can help people like Jono have healthy babies, so that they're not passing on their genectic condition, then let it! Are you God?? No, so who are you to judge?

  16. also why cant she have a baby using a donor speam
    would then be still legally theres

  17. how could u as a humen want to pass on what u have to another person ok sounds bad but i have a 18 yr old son with intellectual disability which was caused when he got stuck being born with the cord wrapped around his neck and being 10 pounds 4 i also have a child another boy with A D H D and OD in fact both boys have A D D and i have 2 daugthers and i was also adopted, the A D D has to come from my side of the family as the boys have different fathers. if i new then what i new now i would and this is hard to say i would not have had them. i have not been able to have a relationship been on my own raising them since they were babys. i have had to be at school all there school life either having them only attend half days or to pick them up when there were problems. been avicted from a house because of there volences and fighting all the time. sure people with disabiltys do great and have fulfilling lives i guess. but my boys have struggled to have friends have had lots of medication and have only ever fitted in with other boys also with A D D. i have type 2 diabettes and at 41 am exthemie sick and am scared i passed this on to my 2 girls maybe well at least one. now when u have a normal child they have normal happy lives growing up. no one to pick on them cause there different, u have been there and no what i mean, u have been so lucky to have found a lovely lady who sees past your disabilty but most people with disabiltys live a lonely life on there own. my 18 almost 19 yr old boy he is only mildly intellectual disabilty that just affect his IQ so he has a fairly normal life now but no girl friends and has offen been depressed cause he hasnt got one or been way to shy to try cause he doesnt no how to go about that. as a parent u want to do the best u can by your child, and making sure that he or she does not have a disabilty should be the first thing other then not having children at all. since the egg is checked to make sure it doesnt have that disabilty before inplanting it into the mother u are there for making that child then not before while its still at a stage that during normal process was never 100% going to inplant and grow into a baby u are doing nothing wrong. im sure u havent said or wished some stage in your life that u werent born with what u have. and your girlfriend well lots of women go though having ivf u need to decide if u really want a baby and no that its that or no baby. and please look at how many elderly parents are still having to care about there disable children till they die worrying sick that no one is going to be there the rest of that childs life looking after them. do u want to spend your life and i mean your whole life looking after a adult with a disabilty as u have said in this vidieo that some kids are born with this so bad they cant breath or live even. if they live u spend the rest of your life having to spend it around your child. and please people i aint saying that parents with childen with disabiltys havent not regretted having there child i no they must say to themself if only......... go a head do the right thing by your child and give them the gift of life without the disabiltys.

  18. if you have a massive genetic defect, guess what?

    there's already 6 billion people running around, way too many creating new swarms as it is.

    take a clue and hold onto those genes. to do otherwise is, in my opinion,
    heedless, cruel, and profoundly selfish.

  19. I would worry more about passing on my heavy drinking habits?

    1. you cant just PASS a drinking habit

    2. Yes, you can. Alcoholism is highly genetic.

  20. Stop Pissing in the gene Pool!

  21. Survey saaaaaaaaaays ... adoption! I personally wouldn't gamble with my baby's future, but that's just me. Do what you want. No commenter on here is the person you're going to have to answer to. ANYWAY, read some of these comment's below. Morality, Social taboos, religious belief, eugenics, whatever is flying all over the place like fur in a cat fight. Mild Doc spurs heavy comments. Read on.

  22. All my love, I feel so sad for not having such excellent human beings sharing my day to day :_(

    I would learn so very much, so very much on what being human really means...

    thank you

  23. One would think that because he was adopted they would find that as the only option. They seem a bit selfish and self-absorbed. sad

  24. just give him a facial reconstruction ....a couple of pieces of rib cartilage and silicone ears and hes ready to go

    1. Nice, facile response.

      Oddly, though, not everyone has the money for facial reconstruction. Not everyone is covered by insurance. And insurance companies are not shy about turning down 'cosmetic' surgical procedures.

    2. You may have noticed that they are in the UK. In the UK they have socialized medicine and surgical procedures like that will be covered.

    3. you gonna pay for that?

    4. Did you even watch the doc? its not always that easy. The main guy has a mild form, he can still hear, eat and breathe normally. his ears just look weird but they are functional. Some peoples ears are totally closed off so cant hear...... or they cant breathe and need a hole made through their neck into their wind pipe...... or they cant eat orally and need a hole made into their stomach and have to be tube fed through it.

  25. Odd job, even by Klingon standards.

  26. hay jono, nice body.

  27. What a high failure rate for the money paid and distress caused through IVF. Had a friend who tried IVF with her husband for years. She fell in love, had an affair, so did he, they split and viola! Both women became pregnant for the first time at the same time. It's very courageous or insane (certainly takes a whole lot of love) for them to take the risk, yet IVF provides no certainty of a pregnancy. Besides, Jono did very well for himself; we've been too cosseted in narcism in the wicked West; look at the hash our military have made of Iraqi children - disfiguring hundreds of thousands. Are we so perfectly beautiful as to cast judgement? Just look at the ugly elites with their throwback genes and there's a case in point for genetic selection.

  28. It's completely irresponsible to conceive a child that may inherit this kind of disorder. I personally will not take this chance and bring another life into this earth with such a disorder.

    1. No. It's irresponsible to conceive a child if that child will likely be sick or terminal. Jono doesn't have an illness. Nor is he likely to die from this. It's not irresponsible to conceive a child that doesn't necessarily conform to the standards of Eugenics.

    2. He does have an illness, a genetic one, and his kid COULD die from it. He should adopt. I knowingly passed on my genetic flaw, but it's minor (colorblindness) to my daughter, but this is horrendously different in my opinion.

    3. Overweight parents still re produce passing on flawed genes and potentially harmful genes, as well as raising them in an often harmful environment in terms of health, yet no one claims they should stop re producing

    4. That's true.

    5. He wants to adopt, she doesnt. And I think all mothers can understand her desire to carry a baby because it's a very strong instinct in women that cannot be "put aside"

    6. yes, there's a possibility that the baby won't be able to breathe on it's own. That can be terminal but not a guarantee to even happen if he's born with TCS. I mean, should parents with lazy eyes produce children? What about parents who both have type 1 diabetes?

      Maisie requires extra work. But in other ways, she requires less. I'm sure it balances out.

  29. I believe that if this couple puts focus into having a healthy baby that they can. It takes faith and belief, don't listen to the doctors just have faith, they seem like a happy and loving couple. Best Wishes To them Both.

    1. WTH is this? faith and belief in what exactly ? Are you telling us that we all should ditch doctors and leave it to faith? You know that your comment automatically implies that all who have a child with a disability lack faith and belief right ??

      @Angela Wisnoski Im well aware of that believe me .. im surrounded by Christians and was brought u in a Catholic School so i know how these folks think. But that doesn't make it true right ? And Knowledgeizpower goes yet further into saying that belief and faith is a preventive measure. Who knew maybe thats what people mean when they say 'prevention is better than cure'! :)

    2. Well that is the belief of some people, everything bad that ever happens to you (from getting a cold to your car breaking down) is done by god to punish your sins.

    3. Thousands of years ago humans tend to conveniently use "God" to explain the unknown. It is sad to see that thousands of years later, we humans inconveniently use "God" to explain the already known. Let it be accidents or illness, almost everything can be logically and/or scientifically determined and these determinations are by no means of any divine intervention.

    4. Look don't get all sensitive okay, since your an atheist fine punk yes you obviously are proud to be that...i'm simply saying that if you focus on believing in something positively in this case they are concerned of having a normal looking child that doesn't look like the father, the doctor gave them a 50/50 chance, PLACE FOCUS VISUALIZE BELIEVE HAVE FAITH in that 50/50 chance that their child will have that normal looking gene and it can happen. I think you can understand what i'm saying. You're so quick to jump on this religious stuff just because the word FAITH was used? I was trying to say something positive to be honest. The other couple that had the daughter with the same disease the mother was pregnant with their second child the doctor told them they could have a another child with this disease or more than likely that they wouldn't she said Its like lightening striking so they were pretty positive they will have a normal baby. Whats WRONG WITH THAT.I mean my Goodness You Just Put your own foot in your mouth because i wasn't even bringing up anything about religion. And to bring up something about a parent that has disabled children have a lack of faith, What? AS a parent myself when you have a child EVERY PARENT WANTS THEIR NEW BORN BABY TO BE HEALTHY WHEN THEY'RE BORN. NO ONE VOLUNTARILY SAYS I WANT A CHILD BORN WITH this disorder that genetic disease i want a child born with one toe and two fingers. No parent in the world wants that to happen. Does unplanned things happen, yes. But the love of being a parent helps that child. Obviously for some parents having a normal baby means alot and they can't deal the man's parents gave him away a couple hours after he was born when they looked at him. Some parents take care of their physically disabled children and thats alot of work and sacrifice and i give props to them..And just to let you know I am a Caregiver and have worked with alot of Mentally and Physically Disabled People yeah close your mouth. OHHHH taking it to that religious level since you started it, I BELIEVE IN GOD AND I'M PROUD OF IT!

    5. I do not see how I was too quick to jump on religion since you were the one who mentioned faith. Faith being a 'belief that does not rest on logical proof or material evidence'. This doc is not about faith but it is about medical scientific advancements and a couple's struggle in life. I m all for positive thinking and i do get what you are saying. i guess we both are looking at this from different perspective. One perspective might shed light for you and the other for me :)

    6. Woooaaah Nellie. These comments are more entertaining than the doco.

    7. Just want to point out there are two definitions for the word "faith"
      faith Noun/f?TH/
      1. Complete trust or confidence in someone or something.
      2. Strong belief in God or in the doctrines of a religion, based on spiritual apprehension rather than proof.

      Notice the first one?

    8. by your logic, nothing bad should ever happen to good people.

    9. In this case I really think they should indeed listen to the doctors. I commend Juno for not wanting to abort any child they may have naturally, so I would go with the embreo screening myself. But, then again, you're left with the dilema of what to do with "unwanted" embreos that surely no one else would want to "adopt". No easy answers there either, I guess.

    10. I feel you what you're sayin.. I have 3rd generation nurses in my family and listening to stories of medicine back in the day before screening played a significant role, there was a patient that was pregant and gave birth to a child that had the condition with scaly skin a few days later the child lived and died, well the woman got pregnant 2 more times after that, had both babies with the same condition and those two children died. Well the doctor advised her to stop having children because she was having babies with this condition. Was that selfish of the woman to know that she will reproduce babies like this, in a way yes because the children would live a few days and pass away, she could adopt but She wanted children of her own, and obviously it was not working. So yes in different cases no easy answers, but who knows.

    11. .... kind of ironic that your name is "knowledgeizpower".....

    12. Wow, i think i'm going to turn off my notifications in my e-mail from top doc for awhile

  30. Virtually every child born into this world exists due to chance or, if you believe, divine intervention. He may not have existed if his parents had been presented with his current choices. The solution he is looking for is to cause a natural pregnancy, test the embryo/child and repair the defect genetically. Though not with this particular condition, it has been done.

    And as for looks, he does resemble David Spade who would kill for a girlfriend like her. Obviously women can see more inside a man than a man can see inside a woman.

  31. .....the beauty and the beast?!bet that's what the "hate page"guy feels but,his is pure envy.People taunt for less anyway,guess it's the 'stupid' gene in man.Sensitive,sensible and beautiful couple.Hope they make the right decision

  32. Anyone who does their hair like that should not be allowed to reproduce.

    1. his hair is outstanding and covers features that are deformed , its stylish and his group of friends are too, you are petty , i hope you dont have any "ugly" children, many scientists and doctors are not attractive , but thank goodness they are alive,to improve the world.Every human makes a contribution to this life ,good or bad. What is yours, oh, judgmental thinking, lovely.

    2. Oh get a sense of humour.

      And I said nothing about his natural looks, only about his trashy sense of style. Here's a tip - once a look has been done to death by countless Idol contestants, it's no longer cool.

    3. I have no idea if it is the best hair for his head, but taking the hair only into consideration:
      Oh, come on. His hair looks ridiculous and is in the style of Asian teens.

    4. Really? I know you are joking but that comment is just plain offensive.

    5. He was trying to "fill out" his facial features and obscure his partially formed ears. That wasn't even a funny joke.

  33. Jono needs to put his morals aside for a while ... just a while and focus on what is best for his child. Jono you are not the condition / disability or whatever you are a great person with many facades to your personality and that is a whole LOT to pass on to your child. I really think you are a great person and wish you the best of luck and hope there is a happy ending to all this.

  34. If I were him I would adopt someone in need as he was. Of course if I were adopted, I would do that anyway, disorder or not.

    1. Yes! I agree. It seems so simple to me too.

  35. I thought this couple showed a lot of courage sharing their difficult decision with the rest of us. I especially thought this when I read some of the comments below. We have one poster who marvels at how a guy like Jono manages to "pull" a woman like her; another person suggests there must be something ELSE wrong with Jono for someone to have gone to the trouble of starting a "hate page" dedicated to him - in other words, it must somehow be his fault, 'cause people aren't THAT cruel. Aren't they? Hmmm.

  36. @ Harisgreekstein:
    If you watched the film, you'll recall this isn't just an appearance problem - there are a range of health problems which usually accompany the disorder, from trivial to life-threatening. The young girl they visit, Maisie, requires a tube (changed daily) in her neck just to breathe and can only take in "food" through a catheter directly entering the stomach. Many with TCS are also born deaf; some (like Maisie) are unable to speak. The tough thing, also, is that someone with mild TCS may pass on a more severe form of it to their child. I take your point, however, about beauty being subjective.

  37. If you watched the film, you'll recall this isn't just an appearance problem - there are a range of health problems which usually accompany the disorder, from trivial to life-threatening. The young girl they visit, Maisie, requires a tube (changed daily) in her neck just to breathe and can only take in "food" through a catheter directly entering the stomach. Many with TCS are also born deaf; some (like Maisie) are unable to speak. The tough thing, also, is that someone with mild TCS may pass on a more severe form of it to their child. I take your point, however, about beauty being subjective.

  38. Go for it. There is a risk, though: that your kid will be like you. And your grandchildren, too. And your many great-grandchildren will be so, as well. And *one day*, there are going to be so many like you that the world will change for the better. If you do not, you will feel all of your life that you did not *that* battle. Good luck. We are millions behind you. All the best from Canary Islands/Spain.

    1. I am really confused by this comment...

    2. i love this comment...i do believe, and i'm answering for angela, that aldo is referring to the fact that Jono is questioning/researching/digging deeply into whether or not to father a child. it is a question that should be asked, and not only of those w/conditions that can make life difficult or harsh, but to validate bringing a child into this world. there are too many children born into this world w/no thought, and for so many of them, their lives are not as enriched as the child who could be born of Jono, someone seeking answers.

    3. sorry. This will never happen. How does having no cheekbones mean we are better? Or worse for that matter? Why would evolving to be missing cheekbones or external ears make humanity better or worse?

      You need to take a very elementary study of evolution, friend.

    4. although your reply to me was insulting, I understand what your saying and i admire your point of view. My comments were said half jokingly, I didnt think they would offend people so much,I should have thought about it more before i posted.
      So I apologize to the people i offended, I didnt think it would be took so seriously

      Thanks for bringing it to my attention, the last thing i want is to have the mentality of one of those "Jersey shore" types, which I despise.

      I remember when I went to England for a stag weekend and we stayed at hostel (had to keep as much money as possible for booze lol) anyway I went out for a smoke and saw an old man sitting down, He had a long un-kept beard, long hair and wore an old tattered baseball cap. Being a bit tipsy I decided to strike up a conversation,cut a long story short, It was the most eye opening,intelligent conversation I've ever had in my life turned out the guy owned the place!

      My point is although it may seem(from my comments) that im a typical close minded man,Im not.

      Again my apologies

    5. That's bad advice. The disfigurement is too severe to just "go for it". Be responsible---Adopt.

  39. how did he pull her?

    1. haha

    2. by being a nice human being maybe?

    3. Like Iain says below - by being nice probably. Are you really scratching your head over this? If so, you may be watching documentaries alone for a while longer...

    4. Im all for "its whats on the inside that counts" blah blah blah, lol. He must be rich or something, because in the real world a face like his isn't exactly attractive. Im just being real, it would be great if we all went for personality before looks, I guarantee you that 99.99% of people would need some form of physical attraction to be with someone. By the way jennifer,can you honestly say that you would date this guy?

      what makes you think im watching these alone. "Iv'e got 99 problems but a bitch aint one"

    5. @ stephen below,

      No, I think that you totally missed the boat on 'what's inside counts'. Jono is rich in a lot of ways, but I don't expect you to understand. I guess it's the difference between being pretty and being beautiful. They are never either mutual nor exclusive to each-other.

    6. Stephen, you come from a world of idiots. No offense, but i get the sense that you're just some average guy with average intelligence and average looks who hangs out with average people. You're dull and sort of obnoxious so.. yeah. YOU personally? You'll have to be good looking or rich because your personality isn't going to do much for you.

      I'm not trying to be a "bitch" (a-hem..) but it's simply the truth. You are not being real because the only real you know is in a very shallow world you live in. Did you know there are many subcultures of humans who are SMART and who judge one another on things like intelligence, charisma, sense of humour and self confidence? There is a whole world you are not a part of. So what you call "real" is the same thing the rest of us call "stupid guys we'd never go out with" This is not just a nice thing that people say to make nice ugly guys feel a little better about themselves. This is the truth. People like you are just not invited to those parties. This is precisely why "ugly guys get hot girls". It's a secret the smart-kid club isn't supposed to tell people like you.

      For me, i can be physically attracted to someone. But if they irritate me, i just see ugly. I mean i honestly do because i start to associate their looks with an annoying person and that type of look will become annoying to me. I will likely not be attracted to anyone else that looks like them either for that reason. If i meet someone awesome, their face and body become the standard of what i find attractive. For the same reason.

      Maybe "bitches" aren't your problem because nobody told you that most women think like this.

      Good luck.

    7. The good thing, Stephen, is that i get the sense that you're not a bad guy despite all this. If i were you i would cultivate that. Because it's vaulable.

    8. Don't know if I would date him or not. You'll think this is BS, but the truth is, looks matter a lot more to guys than they do to girls. For some reason, guys just cannot believe this. When guys see a pretty girl with a plain-looking guy, they immediately think - "the guy's gotta have cash." And I'm sure sometimes that's true. But girls also like men they respect - and that can be for a whole bunch of reasons, money being one, but there's other things, too - a sense of humour, confidence, smarts, being handy, having physical strength, etc. In fact, that's the whole idea behind books like The Layguide - that even if you're not rich or attractive, you can still get girls with the right confidence and attitude. And by the way, I'm sure most girls who watched this documentary would admit that they noticed NOT ONLY his odd-looking face, but also that he had a great physique. No question about it - the guy's making the best of the tough hand he got dealt, and I admire him for that. You sound kind of bitter, which is too bad - not sure why you call women "bitches," but in all sincerity I hope you're able to find one you feel differently about - and one who brings out a kinder side in you. Good talking with you; peace out!

    9. Fair play, a good answer. I appreciate the sincerity of your comment. by the way i dont think women are bitches i was referring to a JZ song lol

    10. The same way I got my lovely wife---character and heart, which you obviously must lack.

    11. cop on will ya, it was a joke

  40. I'm all for abortion and artificial insemination, but when it comes to this guys problem.. Its a complicated thing indeed. I hate that he is taunted by people.. it really doesnt make sense. How can you blame someone for being born a certain way? How can you make a website dedicated to taunting him? That is very cruel.

    Personally I think he should get reconstructive surgery. Not because I think hes ugly or needs it, but because it may be a way for him to get a sense of relief from all the taunting.

    Hmm.. I suppose getting surgery would justify all the taunts and criticisms he has ever received. This really is a complicated dilemma...

    1. Without having watched the doc it is hard to say anything concrete, but I doubt that someone gets a website dedicated to hating him simply because he looks moderately ugly.

    2. you are clearly more than moderately retarded...

    3. You obviously think too highly of humanity.

    4. He's already had a fair bit of reconstructive surgery; that's why he and the younger boy are "comparing the number of surgeries they've had." Unfortunately, there's limits to what reconstructive surgery can accomplish - we're led to believe it can work miracles; sometimes it can, but often it can't. I agree with you, though, it is indeed a complicated dilemma.

  41. Life is hard enough and life will put enough problems as it is, why not choose the easiest option ... you guys have more than one option in front of you which will allow you to have a child without the condition. Who cares if the child is born naturally or not ? Once the child is born (however it will be born) you will love her / him to bits anyway and I m sure you two will be great parents. I m sorry to be crude but if my dad had ejaculated on the sofa I wouldnt be born and how is that bad ? Obviously if i were not born I wouldnt be here to think all this. So how can you feel bad if you choose to not have a child with the condition when Im assuming you have been preventing pregnancy all your life so far?

    1. Nicely reasoned!

  42. i think it's unfair that she's been in a relationship with him for 4 years, and had agreed to try and be a mother to his child, and yet - knowing that the child has a 50/50 chance of having the same disorder, she refuses to adopt? and then she has the balls to bring up abortion, which i'm not against, BUT she knew what she was getting into and it's unfair to make him feel like anything but a perfect child is unacceptable.
    i don't think he should be having children with the high odds of passing it along, but i don't feel like that should prevent him from being a parent.
    she should stop being such a bitch and adopt.

    1. I love how she has the balls to suggest an adopted child would rather seek out their original parents to a former adopted child. The man clearly has affection for his adopted mother and would like to help out an orphan of his own.

    2. Wow, a bitch? That is pretty harsh. It's so easy for us to say what we'd do in someone else's shoes. The truth is, no one can know what they'd do in someone else's position. Even if this woman did "agree" to try and be a mother to his child (and we don't really know what they agreed on - probably just that they'd like to have a family and would sort it out down the road), people are entitled to feel differently with time. Decisions you and I make today may not work for us even this time next year - I'm sure few people marry "agreeing" they'll end up divorced, and yet about 50% "make that decision" as time and experiences accumulate. I don't disagree with all of what you've said, but calling the woman a bitch is uncalled-for.

  43. Makes me wonder why anyone would want this for an an innocent child. Is it about him or the child? If it was because of a child, I agree- he should adopt. It's about loving and caring for a child/

  44. I find it unbelievable how much trouble, money and emotional strain people put themselves through in order to have children when their bodies are incapable of producing one naturally. You'd almost think that their lives are not worth living if they can't conceive a child. It all seems a bit ridiculous. Get over it and enjoy your life. There is plenty more you can do without children and you have a whole life time ahead of you to do it. Get real and a life....

    1. Im guessing you have biological kids of your own or are voluntarily childless based on your response

    2. Actually, you are wrong on both counts. In fact my current partner has been through IVF (unsuccessfully) with her former partner and I still don't get why all the fuss. There are so many children already born in to this world that are dying for a loving home. I really think adoption should be more readily and widely considered. Also I think it's unfortunate that people allow so much of their own personal value to depend on their ability to reproduce at the expense of actually exploring other avenues in life. The drive to reproduce is after all ultimately a hormonal urge/response and not at all a rational decision.

      So it's not as if I have not been close to this issue in my personal life. And yes I have gotten clucky myself at times but regardless of whether I have kids or not, or even have a partner or not, I don't let that affect how I view or value myself nor would I recommend anyone else to do so either.

  45. Adoption is an option. They made the decision far more complicated than it needed to be, but a very nice couple. I wish the best for them!

  46. Oh just adopt.

    Not only would you doom your kid to potentially have to "endure years of bullying and countless hospital appointments." But also your kid's kids and so on down the generations. And adoption is a very good thing to do even without this huge incentive.

    In my opinion it is horribly irresponsible to propagate a genetic disorder.

    1. Yeah, but the point is, they have another option; they can try to conceive a child through IVF which would be known to not-have the disorder. I don't have kids myself and never wanted them, but I think if you feel strongly that you want to have them, you don't think "I'll JUST adopt." These are easy decisions to banter around when they aren't ones we ourselves have to make. Also, adoption, while "a very good thing to do," (no argument there) is as complicated and time-consuming as IVF (and with international adoptions, just as expensive). I'm a physician and two of my patients - a wonderful couple - have been waiting NINE years to adopt. Would that they could "just adopt"...

    2. Wow. Didn't know it was that complicated to adopt.

    3. Irresponsible to spread a genetic disorder ? But who are you to decide that they do not deserve to make children when you do? Who are you to decide that having a genetic disorder ruins your quality of life ? The only issue i see with their quality of life is ignorant people, which does not stem from the genetic disorder itself . Why is it okay to say people with genetic disorders shouldn't reproduce, while saying people with less than average IQs should not reproduce is considered inappropriate? i see a lot of ignorance in your comment . To me, a irresponsible parent is one one does not take care of their children, not one that makes children who deviant from the "norm"

  47. Constant existence of bullying in our "civilized" world shows we have long way to go before we accept someone "not so much" like everybody else :D

    1. I don't get why people BULLY people who look different. I really don't. What good comes of it? What ANYTHING comes of it? I DO get why they stare or look or ask questions because they're trying to figure out where this person fits into the whole scale of evolution and curiosity is at least something that is on the road toward acceptance after all.