Losing God

The author of this deconversion series had been a closet atheist for some time and only a handful of people knew about this. He still attended church; he clapped and sang during worship along with everyone else. Outwardly nothing had changed but behind the mask he was frustrated. When the pastor asked if his words made sense what he really wanted to do was scream: "No they made absolutely no sense. I'm standing here in full-blown apostasy and your God doesn't have a clue."

Instead of receiving discipline what he got were bland pep talks from a deity who was as much in the dark concerning his true spiritual condition. Those events sum up his experience with the supernatural - a lot of good intentions with very disappointing results.

Mary was a member of his Christian fellowship group and she had muscular dystrophy and almost overnight she became completely blind. It shocked all of them... how could this happen? They were determined that this attack of the "enemy" would not stand since God worked everything for the good to those who loved him. The author firmly believed that Mary's suffering would be temporary. He believe God had given her this burden for a time so that her eventual healing would spark a revival on campus. Hundreds of souls would be saved as a result of this miracle.

What Satan meant for evil God would use for good. And so when Mary returned to school it was not by chance that one of the visiting speakers was hailed from a charismatic church. In fact he was the very first charismatic speaker invited to their group in years. Everything was aligning perfectly. After the service he prayed for Mary, they all did and incredibly enough she was healed.

Well okay she was still blind but the speaker insisted God was healing her at that very moment. It was now up to the Lord when he would complete his work. It could take a couple of days, weeks, months... but God is good right? How could God be healing Mary if she couldn't see? It's been 18 years since Mary was "healed" and her sight is no better than it was in 1996.

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