The Last Taboo
The Last Taboo conveys a captivating and comforting story of six people with different physical disabilities and a fit partner who was in a relationship with one of them.
These persons share their outlooks on affection, connection, friendships, relationships and, according to their experiences, they share what they've learned about themselves. Basically, the overall idea of the film is that... "In bed, everyone's able."
The maker of this film, Alexander Freeman, had never felt comfortable with his own sexuality. It was always that strange thing that he wanted so badly to explore, because in order for you to really understand yourself you have to be able to experience the touch of another person. One time a girl who was a friend of his gave him an experience that changed how he saw his own sexuality. It was the first time that he felt attractive. But he still had questions. He decided to find out why it is perceived to be the last taboo. He has cerebral palsy, which basically means that he doesn't have total control over his muscles. But, everything still works down there.
The problem with the word "disability" is that it has a negative connotation from the get-go. It automatically implies that there's something that somebody "can't", or something that somebody "isn't", and that becomes defining, foundational definition of the way somebody thinks of somebody and then it spills over everything including sexuality.
People will look at something and they'll think it's beautiful if it falls under certain guidelines and that is what puts so much stigma on the idea of someone with a disability being a sexual person, because people can't quite connect the dots between the idea that someone has a non-normative body or presentation and the fact that they might be sexual.
This is a must needed conversation. Though as a woman with disabilities and disorders I find the title quite puzzling. I don't find it offensive, just odd. What makes it the last taboo, really? There are still numerous of things that are far more taboo than people with disabilities and/or disorders having the same wants and needs as people with abilities (or the nondisabled). I wish psychologists would look further into the lives of people with disabilities and/or disorders beyond the age of 25. There is no deeper study on the subject matter of living with disabilities beyond age 25. What does a woman like myself can look forward to when I reach the age of 40, 50, 60, over 100 years of age while dealing with the disabilities and disorders I have? All books about Autism, ADD w/ chronic Depression and Learning Disabilities are written for teachers who teach students who are either toddlers or teenagers. What about older people with disabilities and/or disorders? Even Autism Speaks has little to no *beep*ing information on what to do with individuals with ASD after graduating college life. The only information I found on elderly with ASD is a single page article, no real tips or how tos. It's as if those of us with ASD or any disabilities and/or disorders disappear after the age of 25. Talk about Ageist society. Society is even worse towards those of us with disabilities and/or disorders. :/
This one I especially wanted to see, and participate in a discussion of, and even share - but Vimeo videos are very bad for "sticking" - i.e. the talk doesn't match the picture - so you lose the whole thread ;(
Thanks folks, I wanted some discussion about the film in question and I got another tired ratty political discussion. Politics and awareness thereof, including soundly derived conviction are certainly essential to most democratic processes, but this space was _supposed_ to be here for comments and criticism of the f*****g film.
A very moving film.
as an able bodied person who has been with an amputee partner and has many close friends with various presentments of disability I can only say this: There is no such thing as a merely physical disability. A psychological component comes with it largely due to isolation, fear and disapproval from society at large. If you are disabled, please factor in your"pain in the ass factor" when you are having a good day and at least try to compensate in some way. Not by saying it. That's hot air. Nobody thinks they are doing you a favor being with you. But by going out of your way to do something you don't feel like doing to accommodate the desire of your partner friend who does the same for you every day. I've seen Sins Invalid and it was great but I wished I had an opportunity to give this feedback. No, not a saint or a freak, just a person with options like you. Your struggle and courage isn't going to cut it if depression and anxiety cloud the every day. That being more likely than not, yeah, you need to step up and make my day once in a while. reality check. OR date similarly situated individuals who get it and don't want to face the same things you don't want to face. Thats equality babe.. still want it?
When they say "The last taboo" in sexuality, this was not what I had in mind...
I found a Canadian website for teachers, health care workers and parents containing suggested guidelines for teaching individuals with intellectual and physical challenges.
It's called SexualityandU.ca
My knee jerk reaction was to wonder how anyone with a healthy sex life could consider this a taboo. But then i realised it's actually mainly about a self inflicted taboo related to self image and confidence, and finding the courage to explore beyond those perceived limits. 'Disabled' or not, quite something to be admired for.
Love might give that courage.
I don't like the word disability. It's a hard word to use after seeing a guy with one arm shimmy up a climbing wall faster than you can, or watching a guy in a wheelchair lead a protest he's organised...or watching the special olympics (special is no better...it feels patronising to use).
But this is the result of a progressive society. where the differently abled (a better term but quite a mouthful) can explore their limits or lack thereof.
In Britain where i'm from, the government has been fighting a dirty vicious campaign against the sick and disabled, whom it labels as scroungers.
Disability benefit fraud comprises of about 2% of the Disability welfare budget (which doesn't even show up as a statistic on the welfare budget as a whole) but yet it's been used as an excuse to completly dismantle the entire welfare state that has given people with disabilities in England the opportunity to have an actual life.
Videos like this are the perfect antidote to right wing misinformation and should be spread as far as possible.
Look, it's not that i'm against anything you say here, but how the hell did you manage to bring up 'right wing misinformation' in this context?
Please - out of respect if you will - don't let this be part of anyones political agenda.
a fair enough thing to say...So if you can find me one single person on the left who fully supports the policies i'm talking about then i'll recant that stance.
Well, i don't know enough about the British political landscape. But no, i don't want you to recant that stance, it might very well be a valid one. I reacted from an emotional side to much, but the point i wanted to come across is that i didn't see how straightening out political issues would be essential for addressing personal issues. But then again, if certain policies are detrimental for a group of people to make a living, then such personal issues might not be of primary concern...so, perhaps i should recant.
I don't think you should, it was a fair enough point to make.
Paralympics is the preferred terminology I believe
god damnit! i knew there was a preferred term for it, thank you for correcting my ignorance.
They are being broadcast starting this Friday, I believe. At 2:pm Eastern Standard time in Ontario.
That was interesting. Certainly not something I would have put any thought into before seeing this doc.
Thank you so much TDF gods for uploading this video!
People like to pretend that physically challenged folks would never dream of having sex, nor should they dare hope to.
I wish society had evolved to the level where a doc like this could be shown and discussed in every high school classroom.
(geared toward a younger viewer's maturity level)
Parents and numerous interest groups would have their knickers in an uproar if this subject became part of Sex Ed's curriculum.(if Sex ED is even an option).
Our youth are sexually active (or thinking about it) They require accurate information to help them make choices with their bodies.
Our schools are full of able bodied and physically challenged students, so it's an ideal place to start a dialogue.
For now, a weirdly popular tv show like Taboo will have to do, but at least it'll make adult viewers take notice and possibly open up their minds.